


Let Me Count the Ways

by Karasuno Volleygays (ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor)



Series: Valentine's Kisses 2019 [50]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/F, Genderbend, Kageyama is a useless lesbian, Pining, The only boy in this story is a horse, and he's a good boy, mild violence, royal au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 19:23:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17855552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor/pseuds/Karasuno%20Volleygays
Summary: The few constants in Kageyama Tobio's life is that she is glad she is a different person than before, she is happy to serve Queen Kiyoko, and Princess Koushi makes her heart beat a little faster. But when Koushi is abducted by a neighboring kingdom, Tobio is the first to step forward and bring her home. However, not everything is as it seems on the surface.





	Let Me Count the Ways

The rasp of the whetstone on her blade fills the room, a modest size chamber in the Crows Nest, the royal keep for the kingdom of Crowno. The room’s resident, First Blade of the Royal Guard Kageyama Tobio, is sharpening her sword as she is wont to do late in the evening. Her duties for the day are done, and there is a certain amount of pleasure to be derived from caring for the tools of her trade.

When there is a knock on her door, she is on her feet in an instant, blade poised out of years of practice and habit. However, she lowers it when she sees a small blond head poke into the room. “Princess Hitoka, you shouldn’t be down in the barracks,” Tobio chides the queen’s youngest daughter. “If I am needed, I can come to you.”

Hitoka shakes her head and slinks into the room, wrapping her small arms around Tobio’s waist. “Koushi was supposed to be back hours ago, and I’m scared.”

At the mention of the eldest (and most beautiful) of the kingdom’s princesses, Tobio’s heart stutters just a little. There’s no need to deny having an appreciation for Princess Koushi. In her opinion, it wouldn’t be strange at all if half the kingdom felt the same.

But that doesn’t matter now. Taking Hitoka’s hand, Tobio says, “Come. Let’s go speak to your mother. Perhaps she knows something we do not.”

Tobio has at least part of her answer when she strides into the queen’s office to a melee of people exchanging hushed whispers. Queen Kiyoko’s face is twisted with distress, and when her eyes fall on Tobio, her jaw clenches.

“Princess, go find the nearest guard and have them take you to your room.” Hitoka looks ready to argue, but a sharp look only a trusted family friend and protector can give to a royal quells any argument. Knowing she is defeated, Hitoka nods and slips out of the room. To Kiyoko, Tobio says, “It’s Princess Koushi, isn’t it?”

Kiyoko rubs her temples and takes a deep breath. “We got reports that she was seen with some sort of witch.”

“When do you need me to leave?” Tobio says quickly, knowing she can’t fathom trusting such a critical rescue operation to just anyone. Kiyoko and her daughters may be higher than Tobio in social status, but she would do anything for them because they gave Tobio love and a home when she had been cast out of her old kingdom.

Now she serves them as their devout protector, and hell will rain down on whoever has the gall to touch one of the beloved princesses.

“Reports have her being taken toward the north,” Kiyoko supplies. “I can’t ask you to go alone, Tobio, but time is of the essence.”

Tobio nods. “I’ll leave as soon as I can get a saddle on a horse.”

“Thank you.” Kiyoko throws her arms around Tobio and sighs. “I don’t know what to do right now, but I’m glad you’re here.”

Her spine rigid, still unaccustomed to physical contact that isn’t a punch or a kick, Tobio wills herself to melt into Kiyoko’s embrace. “I’ll find her, Majesty. Even if it’s the last thing I do.”

Kiyoko shakes her head. “I want you to come back to me, too. Koushi would be very put out with you if you went and got yourself killed.”

“I’ll do my best.” With that, Tobio squares her shoulders and strides out of the queen’s office with purpose. She spots a nearby page and says, “Make sure my horse is saddled and ready to leave in ten minutes.”

The page scurries off to comply, and Tobio barrels up the stairs to her room to slap on her leather armor as fast as humanly possible. At least her sword is in fighting shape, she thinks as she laces the polished leather pieces on her leg before shoving the rest in her arms, tugging the last few pieces on as she speeds down the steps.

In almost ten minutes exactly, Tobio reaches the stables and finds the horsemistress Asahi standing with Tobio’s gleaming black stallion Crow in tow. “She’s rest and ready,” Asahi says, holding the reins up while Tobio vaults onto her steed’s back.

“There may be others. Be ready.” Tobio takes the reins.

“Yes, Mistress.” Asahi hurries back into the stables, and Tobio is certain their most reliable animal keeper will stay at her post until this crisis is resolved. She has always admired people who are not afraid to inconvenience themselves in order to do their best work.

Tobio snaps her horse into motion, and the beast gallops north toward the forests. There is little to be seen in this area, with a smattering of farms and long stretches of rolling hills covered with old and imposing trees.

But somewhere in that mess, Koushi needs her help and Tobio won’t rest until the heiress to the throne is home safe.

Riding until the trees make it nearly impossible, Tobio then dismounts and chops away at the unruly brush blocking the way. Crow carefully trots after her, and the going is slow, but it is still forward and that’s what matters.

Soon a path emerges in front of them, and Tobio is mounted and speeding along as fast as Crow can safely run. It feels like the trail drones on forever, but Tobio doesn’t slow until she happens upon a brook where her horse can take a well-earned drink.

Tobio forges ahead once more, and the light filtering through the forest’s canopy rapidly dwindles. There is little that frightens Tobio, but she does carry a healthy respect for the number of people who have braved the forest at night and never made it back. With that, she pushes on, the way lit by a makeshift torch, until the trees start to thin out at last.

At least a kilometer away from the woods, Tobio sets up camp for the night. She quietly praises Asahi, who had not only packed feed and a brush for Crow, but food for Tobio, as well. “Good boy,” she murmurs as she brushes down Crow’s sweat-slicked coat while he munches happily on his bag of feed.

There is a large bag of dried meat, as well as dried berries and fruits. Tobio had missed dinner, but she doesn’t dare devour too much of her rations. After all, when she finds Koushi, there’s no telling how long it’s been since she had been permitted to eat.

She falls into a fitful sleep, and when dawn comes, she neither has the will nor the desire to linger. Taking off once again, Tobio makes the best use she can of the fresh length of daylight.

There is a village on the outskirts of the kingdom, and Tobio slows to speak with the local sheriff, Ryuu. “Have you seen a witch around?”

Ryuu groans loud and long. “Unfortunately. She lives in the forest, and nobody I know of has actually found where it is.” She squares her jaw. “Doesn’t mean I won’t stop trying. I’ve been trying to bring in that witch for ten years.”

“What do you know about her?” Ryuu gives her the rundown. The witch’s name is Akira, and her specialty is poisons and long-term malicious spells. Just when one thinks the spell doesn’t work, it hits them out of nowhere and they either perish or wish they had.

Armed with more knowledge and a general direction, Tobio sets off once again. Soon she arrives at an ill-used path, where most of the tracks along it are made by human shoes rather than ones from a horse.

Here and there, Tobio will spot a rusted blade or a piece of armor littering the trail. She doesn’t allow herself to ponder the plights of the items’ owners. It won’t bring any of them back, nor will it help her on her mission. Perhaps one day, the forest will be cleared of evil and the souls lost along the way can find some peace.

There is no peace for Tobio until Koushi is safe. That thought spurs her into a brisk trot.

A ramshackle cabin sits at the end of the trail, and deceptively cheery plumes of smoke puff from a chimney built into its side. There are dozens of things Tobio can’t even name strung up on thin ropes around the house, drying by the heat of the small trenches of fire beneath them.

When she sees one item she can identify, a long pelt of human skin (possibly from a leg), Tobio’s hand drifts to the hilt of her sword. She has never encountered the manner of monster who would flaunt human flesh like it’s nothing more significant than laundry. If this is indeed Akira’s lair, the woman has a lot to answer for.

“I’ve been expecting you,” comes a soft voice from behind Tobio.

A willowy brunette with sleepy eyes and an overall disinterested look leans on a large tree, arms crossed. “I knew you would come. The queen would never send anyone else after her daughter except her First Blade.”

Tobio’s mind races, a niggling feeling of familiarity surrounding who he assumes is Akira, until she puts her finger on where and why she knows this person. It had been over two decades ago, when Tobio had been fourteen years old, that she had been cast out of Kitagawa for her poor excuse for teamwork with the other knights in training.

Akira had been one of those knights.

“Did you leave, or did they throw you out, too?” The tension in Tobio’s shoulders winds tighter as she steps toward Akira. “You never were one for putting in effort.”

Rolling her eyes, Akira snorts. “Unlike you, who thought that your efforts were the only ones that mattered, that none of us were good enough to keep up with you.”

“I never thought that!” Tobio closes her eyes and wills herself to calm. “I was misguided. I’ve learned from my mistakes. You don’t have to forgive me, I don’t care.” Hefting her sword to rest on her shoulder, she hisses, “But if you don’t tell me where Koushi is, I’ll add your hide to your drying lines.”

Akira holds up her hands in mock surrender. “Ooh, threatened by the Queen of the Tiltyard. I may just have to wet my pants now.” She stands toe to toe with Tobio, with enough superior height to look imposing to anyone else. “Make me.”

Within minutes, Akira’s shrieks of agony radiate into the surrounding trunks, and Tobio has her answer. Bleeding and whimpering, Akira is sprawled out at Tobio’s feet. “You should think harder about who you side with, Akira. If something happens to Koushi, I will find you and I will hurt you in ways that will make you wish you were dead.”

A sliver of defiance sparks to life in Akira’s eyes. “You must love her a great deal to make threats like that, Kageyama. Queen Kiyoko doesn’t condone torture, something I don’t think even she would bend on, even if it is her daughter at stake.”

Digging the tip of her blade into Akira’s throat, Tobio fixes her old rival with an icy glare. “Nobody sees, nobody knows.” With that, she slaps Akira harshly on the side of her head to knock her out before she takes off.

The kingdom of Seijou, who conquered and absorbed Kitagawa years ago, is responsible for Koushi’s abduction. The Demon Queen Tooru reins over the vast kingdom, centered by a massive keep built with rare blue stones, named Castle Blue. The Jewel of the North, it’s called by anyone who has seen it either in person or in art.

So to Seijou Tobio will go, and when she gets there, there will be hell to pay.

For the better part of a day, Tobio rides through rough terrain, avoiding the main thoroughfares to keep from giving away her presence and therefore her mission. If one knight is going to take on an entire kingdom, the element of surprise is the only partner she’ll have other than her almost instinctive prowess with a sword.

It’s almost sunset when she spies the towers of Castle Blue in the distance. As imposing as the legends say, Tobio takes a moment to observe its incredible size before turning back to her plan of attack. Large castles just mean there are more little nooks and crannies to hide, more ways to slip through the cracks and get in undetected.

After a restless sleep, Tobio is up at dawn ready to ride. She takes Crow as far as she dares to avoid detection, and feeding her loyal steed before she goes, Tobio sets out on foot toward the village. Her armor is conspicuous and emblazoned with southern livery, so she opts to skirt the village around Castle Blue and look for an entry point from the east. For a short while, the sun will be at her back and a steadfast ally against being seen.

Getting over the walls around the village is a relatively simple matter. A fruit tree hangs low over the wall, and with a whip and some patience, Tobio nestles herself in the tree and looks past its branches for her next move.

She finds it in a small door leading inside the castle, where a young maid brings laundry in from the drying lines. It will be a regrettable act, but Tobio knows what she has to do. Dropping noiselessly into the grass, she stalks across the short stretch of yard.

A hand closes around the maid’s mouth and an arm around her throat. “I’m truly sorry for this,” Tobio murmurs in her ear while the maid slowly succumbs to a sleeper hold. Taking the maid and her cargo into a shadowy corner, Tobio relieves her of her plain clothes and wraps her in one of the linens before taking the basket on her hip and walking right in like she belongs there.

Wearing a dress is repugnant enough for Tobio, but it’s especially uncomfortable with a full set of leather armor and a sword hidden in the volume of the skirts.

Koushi has always looked beautiful in dresses. The thought comes unbidden to Tobio, but she doesn’t dismiss it. Koushi would be beautiful in a flour sack, but her taste in colors and cuts makes her almost ethereal. Of course, she has rolled around in the dirt with Tobio while trying to perfect her bladework and enjoyed every moment, but when Tobio thinks of her, she thinks of the glowing creature with a long silvery plait that hangs over her right shoulder.

Her resolve to retrieve Koushi renewed with vigor, Tobio keeps her eyes alert for any opportunity to head up the stairs. She doesn’t have to look hard; an angry-looking woman with dark brown hair laced with blonde streaks grabs her by the arm. “Go change Her Majesty’s sheets. Why do I have to remind you of so many things?”

Tobio has no idea who her irritable assailant is or who she thinks Tobio is, but she doesn’t question the opportunity. Nodding, she jogs up the stairwell, the basket on her hips to keep her sword from clattering against the stone steps.

However, when she reaches the next floor, another familiar face sends her diving through the nearest open door. The face haunts her even more than Akira’s had, because of all the people she’s wronged in her life before being cast out of Kitagawa, the tall willowy woman standing guard at one of the doors in the corridor is the one who had suffered the most from Tobio’s misspent youth.

Tobio yearns for the chance to set things right with Kindaichi Yuutarou, but she doesn’t dare. Not now. Perhaps one day when another rises through the ranks and takes her place as First Blade through dominance, skill, and loyalty, Tobio may tread her way into certain death to mend old fences. That day is not today.

A guard outside the door means one of three things: the Demon Queen is inside the room because she is always surrounded by guards, there is something important in the room and no one is allowed to enter, or someone important is in the room and cannot be allowed to escape.

Hoping the first is not the case but not nearly foolish enough to bank on it, Tobio holds the basket close and heads for the doorway.

Yuutarou doesn’t look at her twice, and when Tobio bows slightly and murmurs in the softest voice she can manage, “I’m here to change the linens,” Yuutarou steps aside to permit her entry.

If Queen Tooru knows what she looks like, Tobio is not aware of it, so she expects little resistance to her efforts to pick up any clues at all. The inside is most certainly the Queen’s chamber, with a large gilded mirror along the wall and a closet no doubt filled with magnificent clothing.

Nobody is in the room, so Tobio spends her time prowling through the room. There is nothing of consequence in the room, however, so she shifts the sheets around in the basket to make them look like they’re the old ones wadded up and leaves the room.

As she leaves, an arm closes around her upper arm, and a flash of panic flares in her belly. She’s still wearing her leather arm pads underneath the dress, and it would be impossible not to feel if touched directly. However, Yuutarou makes no indication that she has noticed it. “I don’t think I’ve seen you before.”

“No, ma’am.” Tobio hunches her shoulders to appear as weak as possible, not lifting her head to the one person in the castle who would know who she is on sight. “I worked in the kitchens before. I just started this position.”

Yuutarou’s lips quirk up into a smile, releasing her hold on Tobio’s arm. “Well, good luck. And steer clear of Miss Kentaro if you can. She’s a little hard on new girls.”

Tobio nods and scurries off, heart pounding loud in her ears at the close shave. No doubt Mistress Kentaro is the grouchy woman she had encountered earlier. A pang of regret clenches in her belly at the thought of Yuutarou looking out for the younger girls. She was always like that, standing in front of anyone weaker to take the brunt of whatever someone decides to dish out unfairly.

It’s why Yuutarou hates her more than anyone; nobody has taken more of Tobio’s misdirected anger than she has.

Moving along to the next floor, Tobio keeps her eyes and ears peeled for any sort of useful intel. It comes when she reaches the third level, a door ajar while two people converse in low voices.

“The ransom note is on its way,” one of them hisses, and the other one chuckles, sending a cold chill down Tobio’s spine.

“Excellent. Now it’s time to find out if Queen Kiyoko will sacrifice an entire kingdom for her daughter’s sake.” Some chairs scratch against the wooden floorboards, and they continue. “Has she been secured?”

“Yes, Majesty, the efforts are well underway. We’ll be transporting her to the keep farther north. I’ll be supervising the move myself, and I’ll stay there until the matter is settled.”

A throaty laugh once again makes Tobio shiver. “Ah, it’s like you read my mind. How did I ever get along without you?”

The other person doesn’t answer, but Tobio doesn’t need to hear anymore. So Koushi is in the castle, but soon she’ll be moved to a smaller location. That will be the time to strike. With the entire Queensguard at Castle Blue, it would be almost impossible to get out with Koushi and live long enough to make it home.

With that, Tobio slinks back out of the castle and leaves the basket and the dress with their previous owner and scrambles back over the wall.

Heading back to Crow, Tobio finds a high vantage point to watch for the departing party. It’s late in the afternoon before her diligence pays off. A few hours before sundown, a group of eight soldiers march alongside a carriage that heads due north. Keeping as far into the distance as she can, Tobio follows.

It’s nearly dark when the troops arrive, from the carriage, Tobio’s heart lurches when she sees Koushi hauled out by her arms, kicking and thrashing to get away. While it pains her to watch Koushi being handled so roughly, she feels a stab of pride that Koushi isn’t giving them anything but trouble.

However, that pride turns to dread when she spies a still-battered Akira head into the small keep after Koushi is dragged through the threshold. Tobio has never killed anyone before, has never needed to, but she realizes in one agonizing moment that she should’ve killed Akira. However, old guilt had stilled her blade and now Koushi may pay for her mistake.

Next time, she will not hesitate.

Soon, Akira emerges from the keep with a bag in hand. Gold, no doubt. Tobio can’t fathom hurting someone for money ever again, but it appears that where she had left that old practice in the past, Akira has picked it up in a far more sinister way.

Of the eight guards who arrived, only four stay after dawn comes. The others and the carriage and its driver depart at daybreak. If there is any opportunity to be had, it is now.

Securing Crow on the other side of a hill near a tree, Tobio creeps closer and closer to the keep, where two guards stand at either entrance. No one is inside to stand watch over Koushi, and given her earlier resistance, Tobio is nauseated by the idea of what Akira could’ve done to bring that about.

The front entrance is well protected with a great steel gate, but the back door is a simple wooden thing, meant for servants to head in and out of the building. She will have a limited amount of time to dispose of the guards before the other two are alerted. There is little issue with taking on four at once; if she’s wounded, however, she won’t be able to take Koushi away from this place.

So she sits and waits for the opportunity to strike, and it comes in the form of one of the back door guards heading around the corner to pee behind a tree. Tobio races around to the back of the keep and fells the remaining guard in one swift motion. When the other returns, she meets with a similar fate and Tobio advances through the door courtesy of the keyring from the latter’s belt.

The kitchens are abandoned and coated with a thick patina of grime, the keep seemingly unused for years, maybe decades. Perhaps it is had been Seijou’s centerpiece before Kitagawa was conquered and Castle Blue was built in the center of the new breadth of the kingdom.

Having spent her entire life as a non-royal living in castles, Tobio has no difficulty finding places to hide and to traverse unnoticed. She skulks through narrow passageways and darkened corners until she reaches the throne room, the throne shrouded by dust.

The only thing she sees after that, however, is Princess Koushi lying still as death on the dais, hands folded almost sweetly over her heart. Rage boils inside of Tobio, and she makes the gravest mistake of her life.

“They said you would come,” calls a painfully familiar voice from the other side of the room. Another ghost from her youth emerges to haunt her once again. Iwaizumi Hajime, the castle swordmaster at Kitagawa for many years, looms larger than ever. Despite her age, Hajime is an imposing figure and looks no less capable of taking on multiple attackers and walking away without a scratch.

This is the person who will stand between Tobio and Koushi, but years of soul-searching and countless hours of practice later, Tobio knows she’s ready for this faceoff.

“Of course I would come,” Tobio answers, fingers flexing around the grip of the sword. “Queen Kiyoko gave me a home when my own wouldn’t have me. How could I not?”

Hajime nods. “I said as much when Queen Tooru suggested it, and Akira agreed.”

At the mention of Akira, Tobio’s nose wrinkles in disgust. “What did she do to Koushi? If she doesn’t walk out of this room under her power, I will kill all of you and burn all of Seijou to the ground.”

Sighing, Hajime shakes her head. “I can’t let you do that, Tobio. I’m sick of losing people I care about. Queen Tooru has brought peace to Kitagawa for the first time in centuries.”

“There is no more Kitagawa!” Tobio growls. “Everyone we knew is under Tooru’s thumb, and so are you.” Her blade drops slightly in weariness. Not of body, but of spirit. “Never mistake conquest for peace. Peace comes when you find a code and you live by it. What happened to yours?”

Hajime hesitates, but her shoulders square in resolve. “I can’t let you take her, Tobio.”

Tobio chokes, “Please, Mistress Hajime, do not make me kill you. The shame of it is too much for either of us. I can’t tolerate the idea of you dying for someone who crushed your home under her boot and made you thank her for it.”

“It isn’t like that!” Hajime hisses. “I love her!”

Reaffirming her grip on her sword, Tobio’s resolve renews. “Then you can do so for the rest of your life, Mistress. I can’t afford mercy.” She swallows hard. “Not now.”

With a tired laugh, Hajime says, “So you do understand.” Taking her usual fighting stance, which hasn’t changed for as long as Tobio can remember anything, Hajime says, “Shall we begin?”

Tobio’s answer is a broad swing of her sword, and the battle begins. Despite having more than twenty years on Tobio, Hajime has barely slowed throughout the years. Her movements are just as compact and full of power as they’ve always been, precise and deadly.

The only things working in Tobio’s favor are ingrained knowledge of Hajime’s style and sheer desperation not to lose. And as the long, grueling, brutal fight wears on, both of them wearing each other’s blood on their blades. It’s only after they’re both sweating and gasping for air that Hajime’s age betrays her. A knee gives out, and Tobio doesn't miss the opportunity. A massive punch to the side of Hajime’s head sends her crumpling to the floor, barely able to twitch, let alone climb to her feet to offer further challenge.

The battle already forgotten, Tobio turns her attention back to Koushi, whose face is paler than even her usual fair complexion, and her chest does not show any signs of movement for breathing. “Please, do not be dead,” Tobio croaks. “Please, Princess.”

Koushi doesn’t answer, and though an unreasonable part of Tobio hopes she will, her better sense isn’t surprised by the lack of response. Doing something she would never dare under any other circumstances, Tobio gathers one of Koushi’s limp hands in hers and presses it to her lips.

“I’ll do anything if you just wake up.” Hot tears well in Tobio’s eyes, grief she doesn’t allow herself to label as such streaking down her cheeks.

At the sound of footfalls behind her, Tobio snaps back into action in less than a second. The newcomer stands ready to fight, and once again, Tobio is confronted by another battle ready to tear her heart out of her chest. “Yuutarou.”

“It’s the greatest trap ever laid, you know?” Yuutarou steps forward. “Pretending not to know who you are while you take the bait and get intel we intended for you to hear. All of this so we can be rid of you.”

Tobio nearly demands to know why aloud, but she already knows. Even knowing it is a trap, she would have come anyway. Her loyalty to Karasuno wouldn’t even have mattered, not when the thrill of an impossible chase is waiting in the wings. That’s what the old Tobio would’ve done.

But Tobio is different now, and she’s going to make sure Yuutarou never forgets it. “Karasuno is strong, not so easily conquered as that. Even if you manage to kill me, those loyal to Queen Kiyoko are not as weak as you think. They will fight you until the bitter end, and they don't need me to do it. Is that really what you want?”

“It doesn’t matter what I want,” Yuutarou snaps. “The only thing I care about is crushing you the way you crushed all of us. None of us were ever good enough for you, and you took every chance you could to push our faces in the dirt for even trying. You weren't even the best knight in the realm, but no one could ever teach you that.”

Tobio shakes her head. “I’m not like that anymore.”

“Of course you are. You’ve just done a good job of convincing yourself that you’re not.” Yuutarou takes one threatening step forward, and Tobio knows her words are wasted.

And the clash begins. Tobio’s swordcraft has been honed heavily over the years, but so has Yuutarou’s. Her old training partner is more than a match for her, but where Tobio is inferior to Yuutarou in size, she more than makes of it with footspeed.

Tip of her blade digging into the soft flesh of Yuutarou’s throat, Tobio says flatly, “Leave. Now.”

“You know I can’t do that.” Yuutarou swallows, and his hard swallow draws a pinprick of blood. “You’re going to have to kill me.”

“Is that what this is all about? You really want me to be the monster you’ve always thought I was?” Tobio’s blade lowers and she takes a step back. “When you saw me last, I was what you say, but my life at Karasuno has changed me. I don’t expect you to believe me, nor do I expect or deserve your forgiveness. I just refuse to kill you over something that irrelevant. It’s beneath you.”

Tobio spreads her arms wide in front of Koushi’s perch on the dais. “The only way to keep her is to kill me, and I’d like to see you try.”

And try she does. Yuutarou fights until she can barely stand. Tobio is exhausted herself from prolonged exertion, but she can ill afford to fail so she presses on despite her screaming muscles.

They’re both on the verge of collapse when the first mistake is made, and in her distraction, the error is Tobio’s. Yuutarou’s blade lands heavily against the dais in a failed thrust, and Tobio turns away for just a second to make sure Koushi is unharmed. The hot agony of a sword digging into her shoulder sends Tobio to her knees, the blow barely slowed down by thick armor because of Yuutarou’s sheer strength.

As she sinks to the floor, Tobio takes Koushi’s hand once again and presses her face against the back of it, eyes screwed shut in a mixture of pain and grief. “I’m sorry, Princess. Please forgive me.”

Yuutarou, poised to end Tobio in one swift motion, freezes at the sight. “You still want to carry on this farce until the end? You think pretending to be redeemed is going to save your life?”

“No,” Tobio chokes. She lets out a ragged breath. “If I cannot save her, then I don’t want to live.”

“You love her, don’t you?” Yuutarou’s voice is soft for the first time since their violent reunion. “She is everything to you.”

Blood oozes from Tobio’s wound, but it goes unheeded as Tobio takes her last moments to stay at her princess’s side. “How can she not be? She is truly beautiful in all the ways that matter. Her mother took me in, but she brought me peace by showing me how to live instead of how to avoid being dead.”

“Go.” Yuutarou lets her sword clatter to the ground. “Take her and leave. I never saw you.”

Tobio gapes at her old rival. “But the Demon Queen will kill you.”

Yuutarou shakes her head and gives Tobio a wobbling smile. “Not if I truly mean it when I say I never saw you coming. Akira has a potion that can make me forget an entire day. I might forget the new you, but it will give us both another chance to meet again under better circumstances.”

“I —” Tobio’s voice cracks. “I will not forget this. I can offer you my life a hundred times over and the debt will never be repaid.”

Dashing a stray tear from her eye, Yuutarou says, “No, Tobio. There is no debt. I thought watching you walk to your death would make me happy, but knowing you are not the person I once knew is a lot more satisfying. I feel defeated knowing I could never bring that out in you, but knowing I can’t kill you in any way that matters other than hurting your princess will never go away.”

Stepping back to kneel at Hajime’s slumped form, Yuutarou says, “The spell is one called poison love. Someone who loves the poisoned person with all their heart can give them a kiss, and the victim will awaken. If their would-be savior’s love is at all untrue or weak, then they’ll both die.”

Yuutarou chortles. “If you both live, then I wish you well. If you both die, then you get what you deserve and Queen Tooru will get what she wants: a war with Karasuno that gives her the excuse she needs to call her banners and lay waste to another kingdom.” She gives Tobio a tired smile over her shoulder. “For what it’s worth, I’m hoping for the former.”

“Thank you,” Tobio breathes, scooping Koushi into her arms and backing away toward the rear exit. However, her wound betrays her and she stumbles to the floor, taking the brunt of the fall to avoid harming Koushi. She swallows a cry of frustration. “You may consider my debt paid, but I think the universe wants to collect. I can’t walk out of here with her and you know it.”

Rolling her eyes, Yuutarou says, “Of course you can. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known. If anyone can walk backwards into hell and come out of it alive, it’s you.” She hauls a groggy Hajime to her feet and heads for the front door. “You know what you have to do.”

_You know what you have to do._

And she does. Once the room is empty, Tobio props herself up against the dank stone wall and cradles Koushi’s prone form in her arms. Some of her blood soaks into Koushi’s dress, but if Koushi walks out of here under her own power, then it is fabric well wasted.

“I never knew what love was when I was younger,” Tobio rasps, voice thick with pain and more emotions than she knows how to handle. “But you did, and you showed me how to find it in others. No one in the world can take that away. I know in my heart that this will work, because I could never hurt you, my princess.”

With that, she lowers her lips to Koushi’s and takes her first and probably last kiss of her life.

Tobio sags back against the wall, her strength rapidly flagging, and she spends the last of it to keep hold of Koushi until she wakes. The room is so warm, so dark, and for a moment before she blacks out, she thinks it might be raining indoors.

The rhythmic jarring of a moving horse beneath her shakes Tobio awake. Dizzy but very much alive, Tobio cranes open one heavy eyelid and nearly topples from her perch in the front of the saddle on Crow’s back when she sees Koushi greet her back from the dead with a wide, dazzling smile.

“I knew you would come for me,” Koushi murmurs, her arm wrapping a little closer around Tobio. “They said you would and I would die anyway, but I didn’t believe them.”

Tobio’s hand drifts to her wounded side, surprised to find soft fabric she knows is from Koushi’s dress staunching the flow of blood. What she doesn’t understand, however, is how someone of Koushi’s slight build was able to lift Tobio onto the horse in the first place.

“I don’t know why, but one of the guards . . . she helped me get you away,” Koushi says, a question underlying her statement.

Nodding against Koushi’s shoulder, Tobio wheezed, “I knew her a long time ago. I was not a good person back then and she wanted to hurt me by hurting you, but when she realized I would die for you a thousand times and never think twice about it, she knew I really had changed.” Casting a fervent prayer to the gods under her breath, Tobio adds, “I hope she will be all right.”

Koushi nods in understanding. “Your loyalty to my mother and my family is well known. I need to make myself a less easy target from now on. I prefer you not having to storm a castle to rescue me for being careless.”

“No.” Tobio struggles to sit up straight, and Koushi reins Crow to a halt. “That’s why they thought it would work, but not why Yuutarou let us go. I’ll tell you about it later, Princess, I swear, but please do not slow down. Especially not for me. As long as you make it home safe, what happens to me doesn’t matter.”

The back of Koushi’s hand cracks across Tobio’s cheek. “Stop saying ridiculous things as if I wouldn’t do the same for you.” Koushi wraps her arms around Tobio’s waist and gives her a smile that could almost be categorized as shy. “Nothing has done my heart better than seeing you find yourself with us. Yes, your loyalty is amazing and cannot be bought for all the gold in the world, but your heart is precious, as well. You can swing your sword and sever a sapling clean in one strike, and the next minute you could find a wounded rabbit and nurse it back to health.”

Koushi rests her forehead against Tobio’s. “I wouldn’t be much of a person if I didn’t love you just for that. But I do, and more.”

Tobio’s eyes are wide and her breath stuck in her chest, but she doesn’t miss it at all when Koushi snares her lips for a lingering kiss full of feelings that have stewed under the surface for ages.

And their journey back to Karasuno continues. Tobio sleeps most of the way, wakened only by Koushi stopping so all of them can eat and drink. Tobio’s stomach churns upon eating for the first time in almost two days, but Koushi is insistent and won’t take no for an answer.

Once they skirt around the forest and reach the outlying lands of Karasuno, Koushi sends a stymied farmer on ahead to summon assistance while they take a much-needed break in the farmer’s tiny cabin.

Koushi changes the dressing on Tobio’s wound and fills her with clean water until she can hold no more. “Help is on the way. I’ll make sure everyone knows that you’re my hero, Tobio.”

Tobio grunts. “Don’t. I am more than satisfied with knowing you’re alive and well, and if I make it, it will just allow me to serve you and your family for longer. That’s all I want.”

“No, it isn’t.” Koushi tosses her unkempt braid over her shoulder and cups Tobio’s cheeks. “And it isn’t what I want, either.”

“Koushi.” Tobio gasps her name, devoid of the usual honorifics due a princess who will one day be a queen. It’s a slice of intimacy she allows herself, and Koushi doesn’t reprimand her for it. “You’re right. It isn’t what I want, but it’s what I’m allowed. A knight may love a princess, but there’s nowhere to live where they both belong.”

With a giggle, Koushi says, “I love it when you’re being all dramatic.” Her next kiss is breathtaking and full of the power Tobio knows lingers in Koushi’s being. Not just solid physical strength, but strength of heart and character. It may be a foolish hope that Koushi can ever truly feel the way she says, but Tobio indulges herself for a moment and pretends it will ever be true.

A few hours later, Tobio is passed out when a carriage finally arrives to carry them both home. Asahi is there as well to care for Crow, and they head back to the keep shoulder to shoulder because Koushi would not allow anything else.

It’s a week before Tobio can get out of bed under her own power, and it’s a painful trek to the lavatory to mark the occasion.

Koushi comes to visit her several times a day, and each time, the way the sunlight or even the lamplight catches in her glistening hair and sets it aglow reminds Tobio that she has never, will never love anyone the way she loves Koushi.

Her love will bear no fruit, but as long as Koushi is unharmed, it is all she can dare ask of the gods.

The keep is bustling with preparations against a possible invasion from the Demon Queen, so it is almost two weeks before Kiyoko is able to truly pay a visit other than a moment in passing to thank Tobio again for her service.

“I apologize that it’s been so difficult to get away.” Kiyoko settles on the chair Koushi favors during her own vigils at Tobio’s bedside. “Koushi and the healer have both been keeping me apprised of your health. I’m very happy to see that you are on your way to being well.”

Tobio hums in reply. “I’m honored, Majesty. You don’t have to see me at all. I should come to you.”

Kiyoko swats Koushi’s arm. “Oh, nonsense. Not only did you expose a plot against my kingdom, you saved my daughter’s life. If you wouldn't hate me for it, I’d have a statue of you built in the courtyard.”

“Please don’t.” Tobio winces, and her aching side has nothing to do with it. “I am content to continue serving you, Your Grace.”

Kiyoko sighs heavily, and the sound presses down on Tobio’s chest like a stone. “I’m afraid it will be impossible for you to retain your former position.”

The blood rushes from Tobio’s face, and she has no words for the panic wrought by those words. Since she reached her age of majority, Tobio has served in the queensguard and risen through the ranks. To have that taken away and be forced to grit her teeth and bear it is more than Tobio can stand. “If I cannot serve, then I prefer to die, my queen.”

A warm, gentle hand strokes Tobio’s cheek. “Oh, you silly child. You will serve in a way far beyond wielding a sword, and I think you’ll be happier for it, too.” From her pocket, Kiyoko produces a key and hands it it Tobio. “I’ll have the box it opens brought to you. Then you will understand.”

Panic understands nothing but panic, Tobio thinks darkly while Kiyoko floats out of the room. Minutes later, a maid brings in a small wooden box with brass fixtures and an ornately engraved lid. Her hand shakes as she inserts the key into the lock and turns it, but pain be damned, she sits bolt upright when she sees what’s inside.

A plait of silver-blonde hair lies nestled in the bottom, carefully arranged in a circle. Tobio scrambles out of bed and thumps down the hall as fast as her crutches will carry her, and she’s exhausted and in agony by the time she reaches the next floor down. Yet it never crosses her mind once she finds Koushi in her room, the door ajar while she hums a happy tune. Her hair falls softly around her ears, the bulk of it coiled in the box upstairs, but it isn’t the cut itself that shocks Tobio.

It’s what it means for her, for them both.

It’s an old tradition, one that is not practiced often in the modern day, but one of the hallmarks of history, especially in the Karasuno region, is that the only reason to cut one’s hair is to pledge to be around to share its regrowth with the person the shorn hair is given to.

Sometimes, it’s meant as a gesture of fealty, such as Tobio had done long ago she she swore her loyalty to Kiyoko. Otherwise, it can be a method of divorce or a promise to oneself to devote energy to personal growth.

Most of the time, however, it’s meant to convey something much different — engagement. Namely, asking someone to be your love, your life, your partner as long as you both live. During the marriage ceremony, the other's hair is cut off and intertwined with the first's as a symbol of unity and growth.

Tobio’s legs give out beneath her, and Koushi is there in a second to guide her to the soft recesses of her bed. “Be careful, Tobio. I know you’re strong, but you should really take better care of yourself.”

“Please tell me what you want from me, Princess.” Tobio casts her gaze down at her lap and wrings her hands. “I don’t dare be wrong.”

Koushi giggles and slaps Tobio’s thigh. “Oh, you would take something perfectly obvious and make it difficult.” Her hand drifts up to her short locks and runs through the gleaming strands. “I think I understand why people did that back then. It makes me feel light, you know?”

“It does.” Tobio recalls from experience how jarring that lack of weight on one’s neck can be. But she thinks perhaps the physical weight is not what Koushi is referring to. It’s a burden released, an ache healed, an ending. “I understand, Your Grace. I’ll do my best to accommodate you. I’m sorry for troubling you.”

A myriad of expressions chase each other around on Koushi’s face before a pout settles in. “Oh my god, you are so dumb it is actually kind of adorable. Aggravating, but adorable.”

“Wh —”

“I want to marry you, you absolute idiot.” Koushi’s slender fingers plunge into Tobio’s hair, working her own serviceable braid out until her hair flowed freely about her shoulders. “I can’t think of anyone else I would rather have, and Mama is more than okay with it.”

“Ma — what?” Tobio gapes because she doesn’t know how to do anything else at the moment, especially speak. “You — me — huh?”

Koushi smiles against Tobio’s mouth as she coaxes an eager kiss from her. “Yes, you and me. I look forward to wrapping your hair around mine and growing it in together. Then you’ll be _my_ princess.”

Tobio is shaking in Koushi’s grasp. “But how can you love someone like me? I’m barely more than a monster. I’ve done things that would shock you and make you think less of me. How can you give your love to someone like that?”

Firm but gentle, Koushi eases Tobio back onto the mattress, deft fingers plucking at the ties holding her garments together until they fall slack against Tobio’s rapidly heating skin. The chilly air in the castle bites at her bare skin, but Tobio doesn’t hide herself from Koushi’s view, nor does she look away when Koushi peels her own clothing in kind.

“I do love someone like that,” Koushi says, straddling Tobio’s waist and pinning her idle hands above her head to stave off a struggle Tobio can’t find it in herself to put forth. “Let us count the ways together, my love.”

Flesh upon flesh, mouth upon mouth, sigh upon sigh, heart upon heart — Koushi does just that and Tobio is sure that there has never been anything in the world so soft and decent and worth living for.


End file.
